Day One of the Israeli Adventure

Everyone around me is patting their butt cheeks and crotches…waving their arms in the air like a silly dance in elementary school that everyone was required to perform.  Step this way, step that way, step lively now; there is always the fat kid that everyone teased because he couldn’t do it and even as he tries, he’s tripping all over everyone around him, apologizing as he stumbles past the edge of the stage.

Yep…Security at the airport is like that. We’re all following the rhythm of some off beat drummer that exists only in some heavily funded office in Washington DC, or perhaps it’s just how the TSA trains their employees.

I wouldn’t mind being in her shoes…

The flight from SLC to JFK was wonderfully uneventful. I spent the 5 hours conversing with a 55 y/o English teacher and her husband as they shepherded their 13 charges from Fresno to Cork, Ireland

Landing in JFK brought all the sighs and smells of New York into one building, air conditioner not functioning due to new construction. Airless JFK in July is something to be experienced at least once in a lifetime; preferably while one is comatose or following a heavy dinner of garlic (might as well contribute, right?

Boarding the plane for Tel Aviv was a little more hectic than expected; apparently a flight the day before had been canceled and “Sir, we had to move you, but no worries, you’ve got an aisle seat still.” Of course, she could say that while I was still in the terminal, knowing the odds were that I wouldn’t be getting back off the aircraft when I realized my aisle seat was only one seat on either side of me away from the aisle.

Then comes Nick. And Sarai. And their sister Ruth. Nick is so large he can’t find the seatbelt but he’s a jovial guy, I’m happy to help them get their luggage into the overhead, and offer to trade my center-almost-to –the-aisle aisle seat with them so the three of them can sit together in the four-wide center section of the aircraft.  Nope….Ruth needs to be on one aisle as she has a bad knee, and Sarai needs the other aisle because she has to you know, visit the ladies room often.

They’re nice enough people; Sarai is a retired seamstress from Jerusalem by way of Detroit. Nick is a retired busdriver (44 years, looka my watch!) and Ruth…I’m not sure what Ruth retired from but the poor woman had obviously fallen into a vat of potpourri on a tour or something. At first I thought it was me until Nick says “excuse my sister, her nose don’t work so good.” Funny peeps, no doubt.

Flight attendants were no doubt stressed too;  I was kinda thinking about flirting with the lead, and then I watched her get really nasty with the guy in front of me. He was in a bulkhead seat and not getting his bags overhead quickly enough. He says “I’m sorry, I wasn’t counting on getting moved to this seat, gimme a second to fix my bags.” Her response was less than romantic; “Get your bag in the overhead NOW. I’ll toss you from this plane before I’ll let you delay us for one second.” Can you imagine what she’d be like with a waitress at a restaurant? DAYUM, and I thought *I* was hard-nosed.

I’m totally set to work on my presentations for Israel. Well…I was.  Due to a canceled flight the night before, Delta swapped out aircraft. So, the plane that had in-seat power, internet, and seat-back video screens got swapped out for one of the first aircraft in the fleet (Vintage is in, y’know?) The projector hanging from the ceiling has a resolution of at LEAST 240 x 125. Impressive (if we were back in 1970).

I sorta wish the projector had better light leakage, because the overhead light for my seat (and several others) doesn’t work and the flight attendent wasn’t too keen on me reading by the warm glow of a Bic lighter.

And…so goes this flight. I’ll need to log off now because my laptop battery is about dead, and I can’t upload this story to the blog site due to the lack of…..


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I've been a successful sales manager, musician, film/video professional, instructional designer, and skydiver. Picked up a few pieces of gold, brass, titanium, and tin along the way. This blog is where I spill my guts about how I'm feeling at any given moment, and maybe a blurb or two about what's happening in the sales, video, or skydiving worlds.

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